Oh, Those Girls

It's been a long time since I've posted -- I'm sure my nonexistent fans are miserable. So, I'm fixin' up a fun and faulous post for y'all.

In my last post I admitted that I watch The Girls Next Door. Yes, I'm talking about the cable TV show that follows around Playboy king Hugh Hefner's three live-in girlfriends. There is something so weirdly fascinating about the situation and the players involved. First and foremost, it seems oddly UNsexual -- that could be a choice made by the producers and editors; but regardless, it doesn't seem like a whole lot of sex is going on in that mansion. I know Hef's old, but he doesn't even leer at his lovelies very much. That's not to say he isn't completely patronizing and paternalistic.

Hef has a curfew for the girls, so if they go away without him, they have to leave at like 5:00 in the morning and return before bedtime. The girls aren't crazy about the house rules, but they follow them. I guess they see it as part of the bargain. They do get something out of the arrangement, it's true. What they get is the ability to live like rich, spoiled teenagers with a dad who's kind of like an aging rock star.

The women don't really work, except the work that goes into looking Playboy-style "hot." The house is like a hotel where they can order whatever they want from room service at any time. This results in the eating of a lot of french fries and chicken fingers. Their laundry is done for them, and of course they don't clean. If some sort of problem arises, they just get on the phone with someone in the house staff to help them out. You can tell the staff find these women annoyingly self-centered, but they do their best to hide it.

The lead girlfriend shares Hef's room, but the other two have their own rooms, which are indulgently decorated in a 12-year-old's dream. And all three of them share an obsession with having a lot of small animals (mostly dogs, and one angry cat) around. Now, I love animals as much as the next gal, but there is something strange that I can't quite put my finger on about these girls and their pets. It's a very needy thing, I think -- like the attention of a dog yapping at their ankles makes up for no longer having panting suitors around.

So, what exactly is going on here? Are these girls opportunisticly using Hef to advance their soft-porn careers, or for free food and board while going to college (as one is doing)? In that case, it might be a reasonable (but still sad) trade-off. The girls seem fairly nice, and not too bitchy, but pretty clueless. Occasional flashes of intelligence and self-awareness surface, but not often.

Obviously, it's a feminist's nightmare. Do these women really have so few options that this is the best they can do? Sometimes, listening to them talk, one shamefully considers that maybe this IS the best they can do. But I refuse to give in, and so...here's my unsolicited advice to the girls:

Holly - if you really do love Hef, give him an ultimatum -- the other two must go and no replacements. Ever. You must be his one and only 'til he kicks it, which can't be too much longer. But think and long and hard about this, especially before deciding to have a baby with this sexist old codger.

Bridget - you are supposed to be the smart one, so act like it. Grow the hell up, get over your dream of being in Playboy (hurray-you did it) and get back to school full-time. And stop torturing Gizmo -- that cat hates you!

Kendra - I think you like girls better than guys, sweety. Get out of that house and start hitting the lesbian scene. And you might want to think about getting back to school, yourself. That dumb-ass demeanor is not going to be cute in another 10 or so years. Some therapy might help, too, because I suspect that you had the most damaging upbringing of the three.

I wish you all the best. And no more reality shows!

TV Confessional

I've decide to confess the extent of my TV addiction. Are you ready?

Shows I currently watch, listed in order of how eager I am to watch them:

Lost
America's Next Top Model
House
Prison Break
Survivor
The Office
My Name is Earl
The Daily Show
Everybody Hates Chris
The Soup
L&O:SVU
CSI
Threshold
Invasion
Girls Next Door
King of Queens
How I Met Your Mother
Surface
Medium

Shows I'm waiting for:
24
Entourage
Scrubs

Dearly Departed:
Six Feet Under
Friends

Shows I gave up on:
The Apprentice
L&O
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
West Wing
Will & Grace
Joey (okay, I know that's embarassing)
Amazing Race (family version sucks)
Desperate Housewives

Why do I watch so much TV? A good story gets me going every time. All a show needs is a compelling narrative, conflict and engaging characters. That can happen in any medium, including TV. Storytelling is universal. It might not be high art, but it can be entertaining.

A Big Question

One of the big themes I hope to address thoughout the life of this blog is the question of what makes a good, meaningful and, yes, moral life. I don't mean "moral" in the way it's been used of late by far-right politicians and their base. As someone who promotes equality and social justice, I think of morality as a life lived based on those prinicples. But how does one determine if their lifestyle is, in fact, consistent with such values?

Can someone live a simple, middle-class, suburban life without betraying those values? Does the size of your home or the kind of car you drive tilt you in one direction or the other? Does doing volunteer work help make you a better person? What if you work for a good cause, making less money than you might in the corporate world? What if you work in a highly for-profit industry but donate money to charity? How much stuff do you have to buy to make you a superficial consumer, just another cog in the machine?

For most of us, there are many people who live in worse circumstances than ourselves -- people who are struggling just to get by, or who are more oppressed than us. What do we owe these people? The old saying goes that "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem" -- while this statement has truth to it, it is also way too black and white. How far does one have to go to be part of the solution? Surely we could all do more. None of us are perfect.

It seems that each person must decide for themself if they are satisfied with their role in the world. But one person's good, moral life is another person's sell-out. One person may be happy just enjoying their family and doing good by them. Someone else may see this as selfish and insulated. If I enjoy mindless pleasures from time to time does that make me shallow and pathetic? Or is my life mostly neutral in the grand scheme of things? As long as I'm not raiding the life savings of old folks or practicing discrimination, am I excused from doing anything really dramatic to make a difference? Not everyone can be Rosa Parks, right? And so few of us have the power or capital of a Bill Gates, so how much harm can we really do in our everyday lives?

No easy answers here, but a good area to explore for those of us seeking balance and purpose in our lives.

Pam Knows Football

So, I'm making my first real post and already I'm breaking my own rules. Instead of questioning, I'm ranting. Well, maybe there'll be a question or two in here. But first...

Today on Fox's NFL pregame show (yes, I watch it, although usually while doing something else) Pamela Anderson joined Jillian Barberie to help bring viewers the weather. It's not as if Jillian needs any assitance in projecting a slutty-airhead vibe, but Pam took it to a new level this week. If you didn't see it, I'm not sure how to explain the sight.

Pam looked like herself -- low cut shirt bursting from the force of her not-even-based-in-reality boobs. And the two of them kept shuffling around each other and babbling like they didn't know what to say or what to do. When the horror was over, Fox cut back to the men at the desk -- you know, the serious men who understand football and manly stuff, and who appeared mortified by the segment. The contrast said a lot.

Now, I know that Fox was trying to promote Pam's sitcom on the same network. And I know we're just talking football, which isn't exactly a high-minded environment. And I know that it was just a silly blip on the radar that is women in the media. But it still depresses me so -- surely this must be an example of why many men think of women as stupid, fluffy toys.

Maybe these women are shrewd -- they know the game and they are using their assets to play the it to their best advantage. Pam has made lots of money working this angle. So, is she an opportunistic genius? Is she just bringing mindless fun to the masses (especially men who admire women with comic-book bodies)? Or is she a harsh slap in the face to every woman who fought for women to be seen as strong, smart equals to men?

All I can say is, I had to turn away from my TV in disgust. But I'll get over it. That's the problem with us TV addicts, we keep coming back for more no matter how bad it makes us feel sometimes.

The Beginning

At a fitting point in my life, I have decided to publish on the internet the mixed-up thoughts that run through my head. As a writer of limited (but not nonexistent) accomplishment, I hope that this project will offer me an outlet for my underused talents, such as they are. I don't pretend that this blog will be read by thousands or even hundreds, or that it will set the web on fire, and that's just fine. The process is more important than the effect at this point.

For those who do stumple upon this site, here's what I'm up to: As the title indicates, I am a woman who is uncertain about a great many things. Pondering those things in writing is my task. A few broad categories under consideration include the media, home life, relationships, food, self-confidence, social justice and harmony. I view these subjects through a mostly feminist persepective, but I hope not to preach too much. The purpose of this site is to seek, search, inquire, explore -- not to issue a manifesto. However, I do hold some very strong opinions on specific issues, and those will definitely emerge from time to time.

Finally, I hope to have a bit of fun here, too. Not every post need examine the big questions of our time. Occasionally you just have to relax and talk about last night's episode of Lost.